The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010
The line graph below illustrates how users spend money on
cell
phones
, national and international fixed-line
annually in the US during
10 Change preposition
for
years
.
It is clear that
expenditure
on cell
phones
during 10
Correct article usage
the 10
years
increased while
the national fixed-line
decreased significantly and international fixed-line
services
almost remained unchanged.
In detail, in 2001 people spent about 700 dollars
to use national fixed-line
services
yearly while
,
Remove the comma
apply
expenditure
on international fixed-line
and mobile phone services
accounted for 250 and 200 dollars
respectively. Following
this
, the cost of using international fixed-line
and cell
phones
by people increased moderately until 2003 and reached about 300 dollars
. However
, popularity
of using the national Add an article
the popularity
fixed-line
went up and the charge was almost 600 dollars
annually. In 2006, expenditure
on mobile phone services
rose remarkably and reached about 500 dollars
while
using the national fixed-line
decreased significantly and reached approximately 500 Correct your spelling
fixed line
dollars
. In addition
, the cost of international fixed-line
services
between 2004 and 2001 remained unchanged. Finally
, the average annual expenditure
on national fixed-line
decreased continuously in 5 last
years
while
more people wanted to use the
Correct article usage
apply
cell
phones
during the last
five years
and expenditure
reached more than 750 dollars
.Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phones, fixed-line, years, expenditure, services, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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