The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010
The line graph below illustrates how users spend money on
cell
Use synonyms
phones
, national and international Use synonyms
fixed-line
annually in the US Use synonyms
during
10 Change preposition
for
years
.
Use synonyms
It is clear that
Linking Words
expenditure
on Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
phones
during Use synonyms
10
Correct article usage
the 10
years
increased Use synonyms
while
the national Linking Words
fixed-line
decreased significantly and international Use synonyms
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
almost remained unchanged.
In detail, in 2001 people spent about 700 Use synonyms
dollars
to use national Use synonyms
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
yearly Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
expenditure
on international Use synonyms
fixed-line
and mobile phone Use synonyms
services
accounted for 250 and 200 Use synonyms
dollars
respectively. Use synonyms
Following
Linking Words
this
, the cost of using international Linking Words
fixed-line
and Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
phones
by people increased moderately until 2003 and reached about 300 Use synonyms
dollars
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
popularity
of using the national Add an article
the popularity
fixed-line
went up and the charge was almost 600 Use synonyms
dollars
annually. In 2006, Use synonyms
expenditure
on mobile phone Use synonyms
services
rose remarkably and reached about 500 Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
while
using the national Linking Words
Use synonyms
fixed-line
decreased significantly and reached approximately 500 Correct your spelling
fixed line
dollars
. Use synonyms
In addition
, the cost of international Linking Words
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
between 2004 and 2001 remained unchanged. Use synonyms
Finally
, the average annual Linking Words
expenditure
on national Use synonyms
fixed-line
decreased continuously in 5 Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
years
Use synonyms
while
more people wanted to use Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
cell
Use synonyms
phones
during the Use synonyms
last
five Linking Words
years
and Use synonyms
expenditure
reached more than 750 Use synonyms
dollars
.Use synonyms
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phones, fixed-line, years, expenditure, services, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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