The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can concentrate on useful subjects as mathematics and informatics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Education is essential for preparation for the contemporary world.

The

Correct article usage

Subjects

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

and arts should be taken away from the school schedule to pay attention to important studies like Informatics and mathematics.

This

Linking Words

essay disagrees with the statement.

This

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essay will first discuss that melody and

art

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develop

people

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's different skills and

then

Linking Words

will show that they construct

children

Use synonyms

's individuality, which will construct their future.

To begin

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with,

music

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and

art

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subjects

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are good opportunities for

people

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to discover something new or learn something unknown.

This

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means that

such

Linking Words

subjects

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provide students with an advance from different sides, not only intellectually.

For example

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, a child can improve his creativity skills or abstract thinking, which can help him in the future to create new ideas for different technologies or projects.

Additionally

Linking Words

, those creative studies can help

children

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find their way.

In other words

Linking Words

, by visiting these extracurricular activities,

children

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can understand

approximate

Add an article

the approximate

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field in which they want to study

further

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

music

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classes help

children

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realize that some of them want to be architects or some of them want to be singers.

Moreover

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such

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occupations are significant for

people

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. Because, first of all, architects are the base for the buildings in the cities and musicians allow

people

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to take a breath in

this

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busy world. In conclusion,

subjects

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music

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and

art

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can not be replaced by mathematics and technology

due to

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the improvement of a variety of

children

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's skills and the development of

people

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as individuals.

sofiasubbotina113Sat Feb 01 2025

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main arguments effectively.

coherence

Ensure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence that reflects its main idea for better clarity.

coherence

Vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall flow and engagement of your essay.

task achievement

You have provided a relevant argument about creativity and individuality through arts and music, which adds depth to your essay.

coherence

Your introduction clearly states disagreement with the notion of eliminating art and music from the curriculum, setting the stage for your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can concentrate on useful subjects as mathematics and informatics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

A huge amount of money goes towards children’s education. In some countries, the government pays some or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation.