The table below give information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.

The table below give information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table compares data about favourable leisure activities for people aged 30-50 in 8 distinct countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, reading, watching TV and participating in
hobbies
Use synonyms
pop
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
popular in some countries,
whereas
Linking Words
going to the beach and sleeping were the least preferable ones.
Additionally
Linking Words
, no one is interested in going to the beach in Canada.
To begin
Linking Words
, in Australia, 65% of people enjoy watching TV, representing the highest number in the chat, followed by
hobbies
Use synonyms
and sports, at 45% and 30%, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in Canada and the USA, the most enjoyable pastime is watching TV,
while
Linking Words
in Korea it is
hobbies
Use synonyms
(45%) and reading(60%). China
also
Linking Words
selected reading over other things, at 60%,
as well as
Linking Words
engaging in
hobbies
Use synonyms
, at 50%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only 2% of Canadians like sleeping and just 3%, listen to music, illustrating one of the least favourite activities. In China, no one enjoys music, same as Koreans and Australians, at 2% and 5%, respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, sleeping is
also
Linking Words
not admired by Australians (4%), Koreans (4%), China(5%) and the USA (2%), but chosen by 20% of English people.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hobbies with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: