Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Some official authorities assert that economic
growth
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should be prioritized as a critical goal for a nation,
while
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others believe that progress in various areas is of equal importance.
However
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, I would argue that the
economy
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and other fields are closely related to each other,
thus
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not justifying priority among them. Expanding the
economy
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of a country can be associated with benefits for citizens.
Initially
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, should the annual income of a country increase with economic
growth
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, governments may have access to a great deal of public budget. Ergo, they can provide their communities with well-developed public services to achieve the welfare system.
Moreover
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, as numerous industries and businesses may be nurtured effectively under economic
growth
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, more employment opportunities are likely to be created in the job market, followed by a decrease in unemployed workforces. Ultimately, with well-paid professions during the progress in the
economy
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, people may be able to earn a high level of money to accommodate the costs of living, leading to a similar decrease in poverty.
Consequently
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, officials may believe that their societies will be more satisfied by the
economy
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,
although
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several factors have a role to play. Notwithstanding, more pleased societies possess a variety of aspects. In the first place, even though the
economy
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plays a vital role, its progress can require certain prerequisites, especially specialized and well-educated workforces, which can be achieved via a high-quality educational system.
Furthermore
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, economic
growth
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will convert to a reality on the condition that people, as human sources, exert a full effort actively to serve their communities.
Therefore
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, to be motivated and energetic, people should enhance their spiritual life through recreational activities.
This
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is where artistic activities positively impact societies, from cinema to theatre or even music concerts.
As a result
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, a cluster of factors, on which the
economy
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itself is highly dependent, should be taken into consideration, so that a lack of each of them can interrupt economic goals
as well as
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a happier society. In conclusion, in my opinion, the
economy
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and other sectors should be equally improved.
This
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is because not only does economic
growth
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need advancements in other areas but
also
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citizens need different kinds of services.
Submitted by ali.m.mohammdianb on

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task achievement
Try to ensure that each of your main points is sufficiently developed and supported. While your essay does present a clear stance and develops this argument coherently, some points could benefit from further evidence or examples to add depth and clarity.
coherence cohesion
While there is a logical flow to your essay and your points are generally interconnected, occasionally, connections or transitions between points could be more explicit. This would increase the clarity of your argument and make your essay easier to follow.
lexical resource
Ensure that you use a diverse range of vocabulary without sacrificing precision or clarity. This will make your argument more compelling and engaging.
grammatical range and accuracy
Your grammar is good overall, but watch for minor errors. Remember, accuracy is key in the IELTS. Even relatively insignificant mistakes, such as incorrect preposition use or article omission, can lower your score.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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