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Writing Samples
Band 4

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can is better for their overall skills development and creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree?

#activity #child #skills #development #creativity
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Children
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 are the future of the country so nowadays we always focus on development and pay attention to everything
children
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 do. Some people believe that doing an ẹnoyable
activity
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 with a child can
is
Wrong verb form
be
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 better for their
overall
Linking Words
skills
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 development and creativity than reading.
One
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On
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 the one hand the
activity
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 is better,
one
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on
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 the other hand is reading better. In my view, I partly agree with
this
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 opinion,
Firstly
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,
children
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 often prefer playing and doing activities
than
Change preposition
to
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 reading books, so that can help them develop more
skills
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, healthy
instead
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 of just sitting and reading.
Secondly
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, they can have more friends, and better communicate if they have more
activity
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 because they can have more opportunities to meet people so they can
overall
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 their
skills
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. The most familiar example of
this
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 is education emphasizes practice rather than learning knowledge from textbooks.
However
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,
to
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too
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 much
activity
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 can cause accidents and they can learn bad
skills
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 from outside like smoking,
..
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.
...
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Although
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 I partly agree with that view, I still believe that reading can help the child better for their
overall
Linking Words
skills
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 development. Because books can teach
children
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skills
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 that cannot be taught outside, they can only learn from a book, so the child needs to read to know that knowledge. Not only that, reading books can help
children
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 relax their minds and have a rich imagination, from that they can be more creative in study and teamwork. To illustrate
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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task response
Ensure a clear and direct response to the given prompt. Present a stronger argument by providing more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more logical and cohesive structure by organizing the ideas effectively.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary by using more precise and varied words and phrases.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of sentence structures and reduce grammatical errors.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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