IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education
Nowadays, building careers and education have become more widespread due to the fact that more and more
people
 want to succeed in these fields.
However
, reaching
success
 could be different for different
people
, and for me.
success
 is a feeling of satisfaction and making a positive
impact
 on society.
Success
 could be different for
people
, depending on their values, goals, priorities and plans. For some individuals,
success
 is financial independence with a huge salary. For others,
however
, it could be career
success
 with high positions and promotions.
Also
, there could be personal growth and development, with self-improvement and overcoming challenges.
As a result
,
success
 is defined by every person differently. Personally, I think that
success
 is a combination of personal
fulfilment
 and making a difference when your action makes other
people
's lives better. A feeling of
fulfilment
 is extremely important for individuals, because it has a positive
impact
 on
people
's mood and,
consequently
, leads to increased performance in work or other things.
As a result
,
people
 love what they do, and it makes them successful.
Also
, making a difference is one of the definitions of
success
 for me. When
people
 make a positive
impact
 on society,
such
 as volunteering work, working in medical organisations or in the justice system, it improves our lives. Helping other
people
 is essential because it results not only in the improvement of society but
also
 in a feeling of
fulfilment
 and satisfaction. In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 as many definitions of
success
 as many
people
 exist in the world, and I believe that personal
fulfilment
 and making an
impact
 on the community are the measure of
success
.Many
people
 try to achieve
success
 through their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 or education. What can
success
 mean to different
people
? What is your view of
success
?
Submitted by aleskovamaria02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: