IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows global sale of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

the chart below shows global sale of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
#sale #five #phone #brands
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The bar chart illustrates
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 global
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 of the top five mobile phone companies between 2009 and 2013.
Units
Use synonyms
 sold
measured
Add a missing verb
are measured
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 in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Samsung
Use synonyms
, Apple and ZTE companies show
increase
Add an article
an increase
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 in
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
Use synonyms
units
Change preposition
of units
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 sold in the entire time
period
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, Nokia and LG brands show
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
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 in the same time
period
Use synonyms
.
Samsung
Use synonyms
 company shows a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
 increase from the start of the
period
Use synonyms
 to 2013, and
also
Linking Words
 shows the highest increase of five different brands. It started with roughly 230 and ended with more than 300
units
Use synonyms
 sold.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Apple and ZTE companies
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
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 a rise, but not
so
Correct word choice
as
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sighnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 as
Use synonyms
samsung
Change the capitalization
Samsung
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 does. Apple started from the lowest figure in 2009 and reached
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 and comprised
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
150
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
units
Use synonyms
 sold. Regarding the ZTE,
chart
Add an article
the chart
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 shows the least change of
units
Use synonyms
 in comparison with other brands from 2009 to 2013. With regard to Nokia, data shows that
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 was the
first,
Linking Words
in terms of products sold, in 2009 and 2011, but was replaced after a
drammatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 fall from more than 400 to 220, by
Samsung
Use synonyms
. The LG company gradually
falled
Correct your spelling
fell
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 from 2009 and 2013,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
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 with more than 100 and
ended
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up with roughly 70.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, samsung, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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