42.Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some say that
successful
lifestyle depends on hard work and determination, Correct article usage
a successful
while
others would argue that money
and physical aspect
are more important. Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
This
essay would argue that although
rich people
can do more activities, individuals
need to learn new things.
On the one hand, appearance is important for some jobs and money
, can offer people
better studies. This
is because they can offer their children a better future,
since the kids will be in one of the best schools and Remove the comma
apply
are
able to do extracurricular activities. Wrong verb form
be
Also
works
Replace the word
workers
such
as actor and idol
, Fix the agreement mistake
idols
they
gain Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
by their aspect and body shape, if they do not outstand
in these areas, they are unable to get financial resources. Verb problem
stand out
For example
, in Korea being a celebrity is very difficult and competitive, if someone do
not have a good physical aspect, will be rejected directly. Change the verb form
does
However
, I believe that success of
life can be Change preposition
in
get it
from other factors, not only Verb problem
obtained
money
and physical appearance.
On the other hand
, people
can get a lot when working hard and by
determination. Change preposition
with
Individuals
need to learn about several things so they can succeed in what they like to do, in this
way they are prepared for everything that might happen in the future and they can solve it with their knowledge. Working hard will help individuals
to outstand between
the Verb problem
stand out from
people
that studied the same degree, so when they need to look for a job, hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
people
will have advantage
and will be the first Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
one
to be selected. Recent research concluded that 90% of Correct pronoun usage
ones
people
that
had good grades have been able to enter Correct pronoun usage
who
to
their first choice university and company. I believe that Change preposition
apply
this
point of view is preferable because by
Change preposition
apply
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
people
will do their best to get what they want.
In conclusion, although
some jobs only people
with good
physical Add an article
the good
look
can do and Fix the agreement mistake
looks
money
can make
Verb problem
give
individuals
to
be Change the verb form
apply
in
advantage at school, Correct your spelling
an
individuals
that work hard are able to face everything to get to their goal, and that is
why I am on
the opinion of Change preposition
of
hard working
and determination will make Add a hyphen
hard-working
people
to success.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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Your opinion
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