42.Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some say that
successful
lifestyle depends on hard work and determination, Correct article usage
a successful
while
others would argue that Linking Words
money
and physical Use synonyms
aspect
are more important. Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
This
essay would argue that Linking Words
although
rich Linking Words
people
can do more activities, Use synonyms
individuals
need to learn new things.
On the one hand, appearance is important for some jobs and Use synonyms
money
, can offer Use synonyms
people
better studies. Use synonyms
This
is because they can offer their children a better futureLinking Words
,
since the kids will be in one of the best schools and Remove the comma
apply
are
able to do extracurricular activities. Wrong verb form
be
Also
Linking Words
works
Replace the word
workers
such
as actor and Linking Words
idol
, Fix the agreement mistake
idols
they
gain Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
by their aspect and body shape, if they do not Use synonyms
outstand
in these areas, they are unable to get financial resources. Verb problem
stand out
For example
, in Korea being a celebrity is very difficult and competitive, if someone Linking Words
do
not have a good physical aspect, will be rejected directly. Change the verb form
does
However
, I believe that success Linking Words
of
life can be Change preposition
in
get it
from other factors, not only Verb problem
obtained
money
and physical appearance.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
people
can get a lot when working hard and Use synonyms
by
determination. Change preposition
with
Individuals
need to learn about several things so they can succeed in what they like to do, in Use synonyms
this
way they are prepared for everything that might happen in the future and they can solve it with their knowledge. Working hard will help Linking Words
individuals
to Use synonyms
outstand between
the Verb problem
stand out from
people
that studied the same degree, so when they need to look for a job, Use synonyms
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
people
will have Use synonyms
advantage
and will be the first Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
one
to be selected. Recent research concluded that 90% of Correct pronoun usage
ones
people
Use synonyms
that
had good grades have been able to enter Correct pronoun usage
who
to
their first choice university and company. I believe that Change preposition
apply
this
point of view is preferable because Linking Words
by
Change preposition
apply
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
people
will do their best to get what they want.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
some jobs only Linking Words
people
with Use synonyms
good
physical Add an article
the good
look
can do and Fix the agreement mistake
looks
money
can Use synonyms
make
Verb problem
give
individuals
Use synonyms
to
be Change the verb form
apply
in
advantage at school, Correct your spelling
an
individuals
that work hard are able to face everything to get to their goal, and Use synonyms
that is
why I am Linking Words
on
the opinion of Change preposition
of
hard working
and determination will make Add a hyphen
hard-working
people
to success.Use synonyms
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