More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods

A large number of people suffer from overweight or obesity. Some opine that the only way to tackle

this

problem is by raising the price of junk

food

. I strongly agree with

this

point of view.

Therefore

this

essay, I will examine the reasons that support my opinion.

Firstly

, increasing the cost of unhealthy

food

can prevent people from buying it or curtail the amount,

Moreover

, everyone has a budget so

consequently

by raising the prices they won't spend their money on costly

snacks

for instance

, if the potato pocket costs thrice as it used to be they will buy one pocket rather than four, so the higher consumption, the lower bu

Secondly

, manufacturers and companies will

also

suffer because of the reduction in consumption so they will reduce the quantity of these

snacks

consequently

this

will encourage them to produce healthy

snacks

, namely, the

costumer

Correct your spelling

customer

show examples

number is getting less

due to

the rise of the junk

food

prices so

a result companies

Correct the article-noun agreement

a result company

result companies

show examples

will stop producing unhealthy

food

. In brief, raising the costs for

snacks

that are bad for health and stopping the companies from producing harmful

snacks

is the best solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem

Submitted by noor23.hamza23 on Sun Oct 22 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

197 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages; therefore, it is a waste of time to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Variation work procedure and adjustment on unit price