IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram we shows how water recycles on sea to clouds, then the surface of the Earth, and finally back to ocean.

The diagram we shows how water recycles on sea to clouds, then the surface of the Earth, and finally back to ocean.
The diagram
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows how
water
Use synonyms
 recycles
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
Use synonyms
sea
Add an article
the sea
show examples
 to clouds,
then
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 surface of the Earth, and
finally
Linking Words
 back to
Use synonyms
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
. The first
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 is
ocean
Use synonyms
 contributes about 80% of total
water
Use synonyms
 vapors in
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
.
Sea
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
absorb
Change the verb form
absorbs
show examples
 the
biing
Correct your spelling
being
of
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
 and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 condensed
water
Use synonyms
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cluster of
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
 moves to the sky о land,
clouds
Correct word choice
and clouds
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 formed. The third is called precipitation.
Water
Use synonyms
 in the cloud falls into mountains, lakes and grounds.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
meltings
Change the noun form
melting
show examples
snow and ice in the mountains will
runs
Change the verb form
run
show examples
 through the surface of the earth into
Use synonyms
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
show examples
. The
water
Use synonyms
 of lakes
also
Linking Words
 runs into rivers and back to
sea
Use synonyms
.
Salt
Add an article
The salt
show examples
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Use synonyms
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
show examples
intrudesed
Correct your spelling
intruded
intrudes
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the river occasionally and back to
Use synonyms
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
 too.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, sea, ocean with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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