At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of these situations outweigh the disadvantages?

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Recently, in some
countries
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, the population of young adults has grown greater than older
people
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. I do believe that
although
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these situations lead to some drawbacks, the advantages are still greater. Even though common
people
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argue that the existence of young populations can lead to various advantages,
this
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could be a challenge for governments to provide a wider opportunity for them to find a job since, in many developing
countries
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, overpopulation can be another national problem that could be fixed when their government could not provide enormous job opportunities.
This
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unemployment problem leads to many domino effects
such
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as crimes and juvenile delinquencies.
For instance
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,
due to
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unemployment, teenage dwellers consume addictive substances like drugs to tackle their
depressions
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depression
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. Demographic bonuses tend to give the number of productive workers that can provide various benefits for a country,
such
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as
taxes
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.
Taxes
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will contribute to developing nation planning that can improve infrastructure, education, and health care systems generally supporting human quality.
For example
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,
taxes
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are allocated to support young societies to find a better education abroad using scholarship mechanisms. It means that
taxes
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can elevate the education sector. Another benefit is more competitive.
Countries
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that have a higher young generation ubiquitously provide a large number of talented
people
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who compete to be a master in their field.
Thus
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, it is easily found to
fulfill
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fulfil
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the strategic positions. All in all, in my view,
although
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there are some drawbacks when
countries
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have more young adults than older
people
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, I firmly believe that the positive impact is still greater.
However
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, governments should mitigate the worst conditions by using suitable planning,
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otherwise
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otherwise,
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societies will face various economic problems in the future.
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to explicitly state your position.
grammatical range accuracy
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to showcase a wider range of grammar.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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