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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffe and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffe and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffe #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
The line graph gives information about the results of research on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tea
 and
coffee
 consumption in 5 Australian
cities
.
Overall
, most residents living in Australia preferred to go to stalls
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
 fresh
coffee
 or
tea
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
cities
whereas
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 buying fresh
coffee
 was a slight demand. Regarding categories,
according to
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
 drinking
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 in out contributed dramatically
growth
Change preposition
to growth
show examples
 in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart middle between 60 and 65 % in the sale of
last
 4 weeks.
In contrast
, these
cities
Change noun form
city's
cities'
show examples
 citizens did not pay attention to
stop
Wrong verb form
stopping
show examples
 on the way to get fresh
coffee
 with 30-40 % ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was a fourth of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 drinking percentage. In these urban
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
 instant
coffee
 in the supermarkets was average demand in
this
 period. In terms of Brisbane and Adeline , drinking and buying habits became less demanding than other
cities
 in Australia.
Index
Correct article usage
The index
show examples
 degree of drinking and buying
coffee
 and
tea
 was the same mentioned
cities
 above.
In addition
, Brisbane and Adelaide considered that drinking
coffee
 and
tea
 out was suitable .
In contrast
, their demand on buying fresh
coffee
 was considerably
little
Correct word choice
low
show examples
 during
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tea, coffee, cities with synonyms.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • purchase locations
  • frequency
  • influencing factors
  • artisanal
  • preferences
  • survey data
  • market trends
  • specialty stores
  • drinking habits
  • urban consumption
  • morning rush
  • afternoon break
  • brand loyalty
  • quality-conscious
  • convenience-driven
  • organic products
  • habitual drinkers
  • occasional consumers
  • taste preferences
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