IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries nowadays, people still live with their parents after marriage and also after having children. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #people #parents #marriage #children #trend
It is true that nowadays, people prefer to live with their
parents
 even after getting married and with their
children
.
While
 some people believe that
this
 is a negative trend, I would agree with those who argue
this
 brings more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand, it is understandable why people disapprove of living with their
parents
. The key rationale is attributed to the lack of privacy. Couples who live with their
parents
 may have issues with their
parents
due to
 the fact that they understand every aspect of the couple’s life and possibly may interfere in their every personal matter.
This
 may act as a contributor to the potential conflict and disagreement between family members. To be more specific,
parents
 can question their
children
's independence.
On the other hand
, notwithstanding the aforementioned disadvantages, I would argue that these drawbacks are often eclipsed by the potential benefits. The foremost reason is the financial and emotional support that
parents
 can bring with their presence. It is undeniable that
parents
 love their
children
 and
also
 their grandchildren and care about them.
Therefore
 they can support their
children
 when they are facing challenges in their lives with positive family bonds
as well as
 lending money.
Additionally
,
parents
 can help raise
children
 and everyone can use their parental guidance. Nowadays, couples have to work to improve their living standards and financial situation. In
this
 case, they can count on their parent to take care of the
children
 and work without worrying about them. In conclusion, despite that living with
parents
 after marriage
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 some problems
such
 as lack of privacy and potential conflicts, I believe that the benefits including financial and emotional support
as well as
 parental guidance can exceed these drawbacks.
Submitted by Nastaran_zandy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your response fully addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position. Well done!
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and follows a logical sequence of ideas. Keep up the good work!
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some areas for improvement. Try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few errors. Make sure to review tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial support
  • shared responsibilities
  • emotional support
  • childcare assistance
  • strong family bond
  • lack of privacy
  • limited independence
  • conflicting opinions
  • difficulty in adjusting
  • interference
  • personal life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: