IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays older people often live in retirement homes with people of their own age instead of living with their children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #homes #age #children #development
It has become more popular for the elderly to move to
retirement
 homes
instead
 of living with their families. Some may think that
this
 development has some drawbacks, which should be taken into consideration, in my opinion,
however
, it provides significant improvements in the well-being of older
people
 in general. In many European countries, the elderly possess enough money to have the opportunity to pay for themselves,
therefore
, the possibility to start living in
retirement
 homes, which provide medical and living assistance when needed. Previously, the economic situation was different and living with one's children was the only option to maintain the living costs. These days, I think, young families are more willing to have the freedom of living on their own without the control of their parents.
Therefore
, it is a positive development for both families and the elderly, since they both are living on their own terms.
Retirement
 homes are good for the elderly for various reasons. First of all, they provide the elderly services
such
 as medical checkups on a regular basis,
therefore
, keeping the health of the old
people
 in control.
Furthermore
, compared to living at home, where all the relatives are
elsewhere
due to
 work during the day, the
retirement
 centres provide more socializing opportunities for the old. Different day-time activities are organized for
people
 of the same age, which reduces the feeling of loneliness and anxiety among
people
.
To conclude
, now that elder
people
 have economic stability they are able to move to centres to retire
together with
people
 of the same age. Those provide important services to keep the health of the elderly in control
as well as
 provide opportunities to socialize, which improves the mental well-being of
people
. These are the reasons, why I think
this
 development is positive.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: