IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is often said that government project too much money on wildlife projects, while there are many other problems .to what extent do you agree or disagree

We can often see people discussing that our authorities are spending a lot of capital on wildlife plans
instead
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 of taking care of other major issues
such
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 as poverty, education, and health requirements. I disagree with
this
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 statement that our problems should be prioritized over wild
animals
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' preservation. Wildlife is as important as human rights
due to
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 a stable
ecosystem
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 and our moral responsibility.
This
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 essay will discuss my point of view in detail with a suitable conclusion. As we all know
animals
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 are a crucial part of our
ecosystem
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. They play a vital role in maintaining the stability of the food chain from producers to carnivores. The food chain itself depicts the value of each small entity that exists on
this
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 planet.
Due to
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 human exploitation, many species are becoming extinct.
Such
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 an approach leads to disturbance in our
ecosystem
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.
For example
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, people are killing
animals
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 especially plant eaters like goats, cattle, and deer for meat and their skin that can be used in accessories manufacturing.If we keep on hunting these creatures
then
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 omnivores could be endangered. Another big reason is our moral responsibility for nature and all living objects that exist.They have the right to live their lives without suffering and exploitation.In
this
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 scenario, humans are
also
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 obliged not to harm them especially when they are dependent on us for their care.They can not speak and ask for help so, it is not a big deal if the government spends public funds on their well-being as they are
also
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 a part of our ecology. In conclusion,
animals
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's protection should not be neglected at any cost on account of their importance in our
ecosystem
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 and our moral responsibility towards our fellow creatures. We are bound with each and every small entity on earth and interconnected.
Therefore
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, it is valid to spend some funds on wildlife projects.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This could strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Rephrase some sentences to avoid repetition. For example, consider rewording how you introduce the importance of wildlife in multiple instances.
task achievement
Your essay has a strong stance and a clear argument regarding the importance of wildlife preservation.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction outlines your viewpoints and sets up the reader's expectations effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainability
  • conservation
  • investment
  • urgent societal issues
  • holistic approach
  • public awareness
  • indirect benefits
  • economic stability
  • tourism revenue
  • sustainable livelihoods
  • responsibility
  • collaboration
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