IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #governments #money #life #planets #waste #earth
A number of individuals urgh governments to invest money for
life
 searching outside the earth, others
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
this
 is a waste of the
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
,
while
 there are a vast number of problems on our home planets. In my opinion, I consider that searching for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
life
 outside our planet can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 understand how our
life
formed
Add a missing verb
is formed
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 which
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
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to
Change preposition
apply
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biological studies. On the one hand, investing
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 for extraordinary
life
 searching can
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 and humanity to understand how our species alongside
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 form
in
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on
show examples
this
 planet which can lead to new
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 founding.
For example
,
biologist
Fix the agreement mistake
biologists
show examples
 can learn how the first cell
forming
Replace the word
forms
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the earth.
Consequently
,
this
 can
helps
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help
show examples
 scientists develop
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new methodologies in medical terms, which can, in the long run,
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to extend
alive
Correct your spelling
life
show examples
 rates or healing.
On the other hand
, the success rate for external
life searching
Add a hyphen
life-searching
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 unpredictable,
while
 it
likely
Add a missing verb
is likely
show examples
 to be less than 10 per cent. With that, the investment of public money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 program can considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a waste.
Moreover
, the world have
confront
Change the verb form
confronted
show examples
 with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous issues which
this
 fund can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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 to
releive
Correct your spelling
relieve
 the majority impact,
for instance
, climate change or diseases. In conclusion,
while
invest
Change the verb form
investing
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 external
life
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 less success rate,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 humanity and society in medical research and development
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
, impacting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a vast amount of population
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world
Submitted by salena.ketpueak on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points more fully with clear examples and detailed explanations. This can greatly enhance clarity and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Work on the precision and variability of your language, including grammatical structures and vocabulary, to more effectively convey your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more logically by clearly separating your paragraphs and ideas, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
You've effectively addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is a key requirement for the task.
coherence cohesion
You've made a clear attempt to introduce the essay and conclude it, which is fundamental for structuring your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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