IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In spie of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world st￿ go hungy. Why is this the case? What can be done about this poblem?

#spie #advances #agriculture #people #world #st￿ #hungy #case #poblem
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many nations all over the world are suffering from
famine
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 there are useful agricultural advancements. In fact, the main reason for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is
poverty
Use synonyms
 and the advancement of agricultural
equipment
Use synonyms
 requires a huge amount of money;
however
Linking Words
, the viable solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem is that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should help poor
countries
Use synonyms
 in order to fight both
poverty
Use synonyms
 and
famine
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, despite the development in agricultural fields recently, there are many
countries
Use synonyms
 that cannot buy
this
Linking Words
 advanced
equipment
Use synonyms
 because it is very expensive. Poor
countries
Use synonyms
 especially those with very tough environmental conditions have to purchase more
equipment
Use synonyms
,
along with
Linking Words
 waiting a long time to get fruits or vegetable craps,
however
Linking Words
, investment in these projects needs a huge budget even some advanced
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot afford them.
For example
Linking Words
, Somalia has the highest rates of
famine
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
 to, having dry weather so it is very difficult to buy
this
Linking Words
 costly possibility and
also
Linking Words
 people cannot wait for
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a better way to address
this
Linking Words
 serious issue is that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should help miserable
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 way will help to achieve a balance between communities and reduce the hunger problem.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some
countries
Use synonyms
 have enough
food
Use synonyms
 and craps when they reduce the price which helps poor
countries
Use synonyms
 begin able to buy products from them.
For instance
Linking Words
, many farmers in China have reduced their price of rice craps in order to help poor people from hunger,
as well as
Linking Words
 make sure poor
countries
Use synonyms
 can buy
food
Use synonyms
 from them very easily. In conclusion, in recent years, many people have suffered from hunger because of
poverty
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 there are many developed agricultural
equipment
Use synonyms
. Having said that, it can be addressed by helping poor
countries
Use synonyms
 by providing assistance from the rich ones and reducing the high cost of
food
Use synonyms
 to fight
poverty
Use synonyms
 and
famine
Use synonyms
 in their
countries
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Try to include specific examples related to global initiatives or success stories where developed countries have successfully assisted developing nations in agriculture.
logical structure
Ensure sentences flow smoothly by using transition words effectively to connect ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that present the topic and summarise the main points effectively.
supported main points
Main points are generally well-supported with reasoning in the body paragraphs, addressing both causes and solutions to hunger despite agricultural advances.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: