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Band 4

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
In some
nationalities
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nationalities,
show examples
 a high percentage of
criminal
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criminals
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 are misdeeds by
young
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the young
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 generation.
This
 is mainly because of the lack of
education
 and
negative
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the negative
show examples
environment
. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented
for decreasing
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to decrease
show examples
this
 rate.
Firstly
, the reason for
high
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a high
the high
show examples
 level of crime among teenagers is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
education
.
In other words
, good
education
 could give
to
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apply
show examples
children responsibility and realizing what might happen when one of them
will do
Wrong verb form
does
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 some action
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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contrary
of
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to
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law
Correct article usage
the law
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.
Secondly
, people cannot ignore that
bad
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a bad
show examples
environment
 has a huge
influencing
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influence
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to
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on
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new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 generation which cannot think critically. Statistic shows that teenagers
who`s
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whose
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environment
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been destructive,
they
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apply
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usually do offence
easier
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more easily
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 than others.
As a result
, these factors might lead to difficulties for society. There are two effective solutions to the problem of
teenagers’
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teenage’
show examples
 crime. One way to tackle
this
 is to ensure that providing quality
education
 for all children which do not depend
of
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on
show examples
 place.
For instance
, it is
regular
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a regular
the regular
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 situation when in small cities or villages quality of
education
 is low. Another method is evenly providing
well
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a well
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environment
 which includes
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a high-level
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high-level
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high level
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 of infrastructure and economic degree, throughout the country. It definitely can change peoples` values and
develops
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develop
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 a competitive and healthy
environment
 for people who live there. In conclusion, providing
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
high-level
Correct your spelling
high level
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 of basic
education
 and
also
 improving
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
such
 as infrastructure and economic
degree
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degrees
show examples
 are effective in dealing with
this
 issue. If governments implemented these solutions, definitely, the rate of
felony
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felonies
show examples
 among teenagers would be decreased.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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language
Ensure you use a range of vocabulary and expressions to avoid repetition and enhance the richness of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to fully support your points, such as citing studies or historical instances.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You identified key reasons for teenage crime and proposed practical solutions.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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