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Band 5.5

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

#shops #supermarkets #affect #communities #situation
Small
shops
 in rural areas experience hardship because of the competition with big malls and internet
shops
. I think it has detrimental effects on local infrastructure because of the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 consumers' demands, which leads to the closure of local
markets
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one of the possible solutions is to increase the quality of goods in local
shops
 and relocate them to a more convenient location. The competition of small stores with supermarkets leads to a win of the latest because of the availability of a large number of items with less costs.
Thus
 it leads to the closure of local
shops
due to
 a lack of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
 demand.
As a result
, a lot of
people
 in rural areas stay without
shops
, and some of them do not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to travel long distances to buy
products
.
This
 situation results in inconvenience in the daily lives of the local community. The main possible solution to these challenges is to increase the quality of
products
 in local
shops
.
For instance
, the opening up of
abakery
Correct your spelling
a bakery
bakery
 with fresh bread and pastries. It could encourage more
people
 from the local community to buy
products
 in that place. Another way to tackle
such
 a problem is to make a comfortable location of local
markets
, with convenient transportation.
This
 can make shopping more convenient for local
people
 who do not have their own cars, which
also
 can lead to an increase in communities' demands for local
markets
. In conclusion, a low level of demand in local
shops
 can result in the closure of these
markets
 which creates a hardship for
people
 in rural areas because of a lack of opportunities to buy something. And ways to cope with
this
 problem are a good quality of local
products
 and a convenient location of
markets
 with good transport infrastructure.
Submitted by aleskovamaria02 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
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