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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Physical health is often neglected in modern lifestyles due to increasing work demands. What are the main reasons, and how can this be resolved?

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In today's era,
due to
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 the pressure individuals face from
work
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, physical well-being is often overlooked.
This
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 phenomenon can be attributed to long working
hours
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as well as
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 the prioritization of professional responsibilities over personal
health
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. To address
this
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 issue, measures in providing access to fitness facilities should be implemented by the company. The increasing time the employees spend at
work
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 has significantly contributed to the neglect of physical
health
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. Long working
hours
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 leave no time and energy for exercise or maintaining a balanced lifestyle, as many workers feel more obligated to perform at
work
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 over engaging in physical activities.
For instance
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, a report by the World
Health
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 Organization (WHO) highlighted that individuals working over 50
hours
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 a week are 40% less likely to engage in regular exercise compared to those with standard working
hours
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.
This
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 imbalance exacerbates stress and mental fatigue, increasing the likelihood of declining well-being. To counteract these dangers, the most effective and immediate solution would be for employers to promote healthier lifestyles by providing access to fitness facilities.
For instance
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, companies could introduce initiatives like standing desks, yoga sessions, or incentives for gym memberships.
Furthermore
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, individuals must make conscious efforts to incorporate physical activity into their daily routines,
such
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 as walking or cycling to
work
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, setting aside time for exercise, or adopting healthier eating habits. Through these measures, the balance between
work
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 and physical
health
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 can be restored, improving
overall
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 well-being. In conclusion, pressure from
work
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, which creates an imbalance of priority, can cause employees to ignore their body
health
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.
However
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, by offering additional incentives
as well as
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 encouraging staff to integrate physical activity into their daily routines,
this
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 issue can be addressed.

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, consider delving deeper into more potential reasons for the neglect of physical health beyond work pressure, such as the impact of technology or lifestyle changes.
coherence cohesion
Ensure seamless flow between ideas and paragraphs with clear transitional phrases to further improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by identifying both causes and solutions to the problem.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with a strong introduction, body, and conclusion, leading to easy navigation throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as referencing the WHO report.
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