IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Extreme sports such as sky diving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are fierce debates about whether extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to take place. I completely disagree with the idea that
this
Linking Words
 kind of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 is unsafe and
thus
Linking Words
 needs to be prohibited. From my point of view,
people
Use synonyms
 have means to protect themselves from being hurt
while
Linking Words
 participating in extreme activities and they are of huge value to human beings.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, various measures are already taken these days to guarantee that individuals are able to stay unharmed from
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 damages extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 might bring to them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are required to take proper training first before taking part in rock climbing, and a rope will be attached to their waist to prevent them from falling down the cliff during the process. With these precautions in place, the likelihood of casualty of sportsmen is greatly reduced.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not necessary for folks to be fearful of
this
Linking Words
 sort of
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, I believe that extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 should be kept for the reason that
people
Use synonyms
 can get a great many benefits from them. Through the procedure of sky diving or bungee jumping, individuals are empowered to challenge their limitations and explore new possibilities in their lives, which may be of enormous significance to normal
people
Use synonyms
 who are currently stuck in their mundane daily routines.
Moreover
Linking Words
, extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 can be considered a wonderful recreation for many since it provides them with an exciting and exhilarating experience. In conclusion, because of the lowing of risks in doing extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 and the advantages the human race gets from conducting them, I reckon that they can be regarded as safe and should not be proscribed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: