IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The Graph shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kindom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The Graph shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kindom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
#carbon #dioxide #co #emissions #person #kindom #sweden
The line graph displays the dislodgement of carbon dioxide per individual from 1967 to 2007 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom,
Sweden
,Italy and Portugal.The unit is measured in metric tonnes.
Overall
, it is evident that there was an upward trend in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Sweden
while
 a downward slope was observed in the remaining countries over the years.
To begin
 with, In 1967,the figures stood at 11 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest when compared to other places and Portugal was the least at 1 hitting the bottom of the graph.
Furthermore
, There was a
Similar
Fix capitalization
similar
show examples
 pattern between
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and
Sweden
 as they witnessed a dramatic fall to 9 and 5 respectively by 2007.
On the contrary
, in
portugal
Change the capitalization
Portugal
show examples
 and Italy,their initial rate rose rapidly from 5 and 1 respectively over the years,
although
, there was an intersection in the value of Italy and
Sweden
 at 7 from 1987 to 1997,
while
 that of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Portugal clashed at 5 being the least
at the end
 of the period.
However
, in 2007, The highest emissions were in Italy and
Sweden
, with
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 being the highest
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the four nations.
Submitted by bumzyakins on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: