Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Music
Use synonyms
is undoubtedly the best way for self-expression and delivering messages. It is totally agreed that
music
Use synonyms
is somehow break
Change the verb form
is somehow breaking
show examples
the social boundaries
such
Linking Words
as cultures and age groups.
This
Linking Words
will be proven by analysing the sense of relatability of the listener and
Use synonyms
music’s
Correct article usage
the music’s
show examples
melody.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the sense of relatability often
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from
music
Use synonyms
’s genre and lyrics.
For instance
Linking Words
, hip-hop type of
music
Use synonyms
depicts the lavish lifestyle of the rich American
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
around the world must
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
having common features as
illustrate
Change the form of the verb
illustrated
show examples
by the
music
Use synonyms
. Those
people
Use synonyms
feel superb when they listen to it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the song is about uplifting,
such
Linking Words
as Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay, it will relate to the whole layer of communities, especially for those who struggling to get a better life. When we find someone who
shared
Wrong verb form
shares
show examples
similar likeness to genres or songs, we will
fill
Verb problem
feel
show examples
comfort since we find someone who
shared
Wrong verb form
shares
show examples
similar feelings as we do.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
’s melody is a part of gathering
people
Use synonyms
, even though they
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
show examples
understand the lyrics. It can unite a variety of cultures and ages
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
it.
For instance
Linking Words
, a song called Gangnam Style by PSY, a Korean rapper. Even though the lyrics
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
in
Korean
Change the article
the Korean
show examples
Language,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the dance moves and beats are catchy,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
eventually triggers
people
Use synonyms
around the world to watch it. The song got approximately one billion viewers on YouTube and
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
highest watched
Add a hyphen
highest-watched
show examples
video of its period. In conclusion, there are several means to bring
people
Use synonyms
together, and
music
Use synonyms
is one of the best options. It can gather individuals through its relatable meaning, catchy beats, and dance moves.
Submitted by manapapuja2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: