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Band 4.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Music
 is undoubtedly the best way for self-expression and delivering messages. It is totally agreed that
music
is somehow break
Change the verb form
is somehow breaking
show examples
 the social boundaries
such
 as cultures and age groups.
This
 will be proven by analysing the sense of relatability of the listener and
music’s
Correct article usage
the music’s
show examples
 melody.
Firstly
, the sense of relatability often
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from
music
’s genre and lyrics.
For instance
, hip-hop type of
music
 depicts the lavish lifestyle of the rich American
people
.
Furthermore
, rich
people
 around the world must
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 having common features as
illustrate
Change the form of the verb
illustrated
show examples
 by the
music
. Those
people
 feel superb when they listen to it.
Moreover
, if the song is about uplifting,
such
 as Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay, it will relate to the whole layer of communities, especially for those who struggling to get a better life. When we find someone who
shared
Wrong verb form
shares
show examples
 similar likeness to genres or songs, we will
fill
Verb problem
feel
show examples
 comfort since we find someone who
shared
Wrong verb form
shares
show examples
 similar feelings as we do.
Secondly
,
music
’s melody is a part of gathering
people
, even though they
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
show examples
 understand the lyrics. It can unite a variety of cultures and ages
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 it.
For instance
, a song called Gangnam Style by PSY, a Korean rapper. Even though the lyrics
is
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are
show examples
 in
Korean
Change the article
the Korean
show examples
 Language,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the dance moves and beats are catchy,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 eventually triggers
people
 around the world to watch it. The song got approximately one billion viewers on YouTube and
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the
highest watched
Add a hyphen
highest-watched
show examples
 video of its period. In conclusion, there are several means to bring
people
 together, and
music
 is one of the best options. It can gather individuals through its relatable meaning, catchy beats, and dance moves.
Submitted by manapapuja2 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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