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Band 7

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers must work in the country where they were trained. Others think that they should have the right to work in another country if they wanted to. Discuss both of these points of view and express your own opinion.

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One of the social concerns today relates to the location of working for doctors and engineers.
While
 it is widely believed that these jobs must be pursued in their homeland, others believe that they should have the freedom to work in a different
country
 as they wish. Personally, I tend to believe that being employed in various countries can provide beneficial
opportunities
 to the worker. On the one hand, being employed in the motherland can bring certain benefits to both the individual
as well as
 the society. The main reason is that it contributes to the development of the mother
country
,
therefore
 making the job more beneficial and meaningful to the citizens of that
country
. Another reason is how convenient and easy it is for individuals to work in an environment that they have been familiar with. Individuals can easily adapt to their working environment without the need to be concerned about the working system.
For example
, 75% of employees who are working in the
country
 were trained to adapt to the surroundings in less than a month.
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that pursuing a doctorate and engineering
degrees
Fix the agreement mistake
degree
show examples
 is ideal in a different
country
. Some advantages to
this
 include the
opportunities
 in terms of reputation and working environment. An illustration of
this
 is how some working offices in another
country
 may offer more qualified conditions for working than what their
country
 supplies employers with. The
opportunities
 can help these individuals in both aspects of financial and learning
opportunities
 which can highly impact their future pathways.
Therefore
, it is justifiable why some believe that working in other countries is beneficial considering the advantages it brings. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that the employment of doctors and engineers in their own
country
 is ideal; meanwhile, others assume that working in another
country
 is
also
 appropriate if the trainees wish to do so. In my opinion, doctors and engineers should have the right to pursue the pathways they want no matter what
country
 they are working in.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task response
Make sure to clearly address both points of view in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Expand and develop your main points to provide a stronger argument.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range and more precise vocabulary in your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar usage.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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