IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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There are too many
options
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 to select from in the present situation
according to
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 several people.
Although
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 there are many
options
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 to
choosefrom
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choose from
, I think that there are many other
factors
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 which could affect personal selections. On the one hand, there are many competitive products that are available in the current market compared to the past.
This
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 is mainly
due to
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 the wide accessibility of technology and development of the global trade.
For example
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, there were only fossil fuel-based cars in the past decades. But
wide
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a wide
the wide
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 range of cars are available today which are powered by different energy sources
such
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 as electricity and hydrogen. That's why some people state that there are too many choices available today.
On the other hand
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, several other
factors
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 could be identified that limit the selectable choices for individuals. Most of the technologically advanced products sell at a higher
cost
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 and some of them are only available in certain markets.
Therefore
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,
cost
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 and availability could vary
according to
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 the value-added
options
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 and location.
However
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, everybody cannot access all the
options
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due to
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 the
cost
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 incurred and regional
factors
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.
For instance
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, in the USA, the
cost
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 of an electric car is much higher compared to a fuel-based car.
Therefore
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, around 50 per cent of people prefer to buy gasoline cars
according to
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 a
last
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 year survey.
Thus
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, all preferences are not available for everybody
due to
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 some external
factors
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.
To conclude
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, though I agree that there are many selections in the present. I think that preferences could be limited by other
factors
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 like price and location.
Submitted by kavindagehan17 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the structure of your essay is clear and logical. Use cohesive devices to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied phrases and expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structures. Use a wider range of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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