IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
There are too many
options
 to select from in the present situation
according to
 several people.
Although
 there are many
options
 to
choosefrom
Correct your spelling
choose from
, I think that there are many other
factors
 which could affect personal selections. On the one hand, there are many competitive products that are available in the current market compared to the past.
This
 is mainly
due to
 the wide accessibility of technology and development of the global trade.
For example
, there were only fossil fuel-based cars in the past decades. But
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
 range of cars are available today which are powered by different energy sources
such
 as electricity and hydrogen. That's why some people state that there are too many choices available today.
On the other hand
, several other
factors
 could be identified that limit the selectable choices for individuals. Most of the technologically advanced products sell at a higher
cost
 and some of them are only available in certain markets.
Therefore
,
cost
 and availability could vary
according to
 the value-added
options
 and location.
However
, everybody cannot access all the
options
due to
 the
cost
 incurred and regional
factors
.
For instance
, in the USA, the
cost
 of an electric car is much higher compared to a fuel-based car.
Therefore
, around 50 per cent of people prefer to buy gasoline cars
according to
 a
last
 year survey.
Thus
, all preferences are not available for everybody
due to
 some external
factors
.
To conclude
, though I agree that there are many selections in the present. I think that preferences could be limited by other
factors
 like price and location.
Submitted by kavindagehan17 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the structure of your essay is clear and logical. Use cohesive devices to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied phrases and expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structures. Use a wider range of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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