Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
assert that children
should not be allowed to use
their mobile phones
during school
days
, and other people
claim that they should not be restricted from using their phones
. From my perspective, pupils should be allowed to use
their phones
during the school
day; however
, some restrictions should be applied.
Delving into the primary factor that contributes to my view, which the
need Add a missing verb
is the
of
entertainment for students. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, young brains are under constant pressure during the school
days
. This
pressure stems from academic achievements and tasks such
as homework, presentations and learning novel information almost every day. Therefore
, among all these stressful processes young people
need a break that is
relaxing for them. In this
case
usage of mobile Add a comma
case,
phones
is an option that can be fun. However
, this
specific screen time
should be supervised closely by parents and teachers. For example
, when children
are at school
they should not be allowed to use
phones
but when they come home after the
Correct article usage
apply
school
hours a time
period can be arranged by parents, so that they can use
their phones
.
Analysing the other point of view which is the idea of completely banning the usage of mobile phones
on school
days
. This
adjustment may sound beneficial for children
;however
, I believe it is not. People
think that if they ban something in this
case mobile phones
, pupils will be more productive and hardworking. Albeit it may be feasible and true in the beginning, by time
children
will not be able to participate in lessons and do their assignments with full focus because they will suffer from lack
of fun and entertaining spare Correct article usage
a lack
time
activities.
In conclusion, some people
assert that phones
should not be used by children
during the
Correct article usage
apply
school
days
, I do not agree with this
idea because it is not sustainable. I am in favor
of the latter opinion with an adjustment, which is allowing pupils to Change the spelling
favour
use
their phones
under supervision during the school
days
.Submitted by maitruonghongvan2403 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and cohesive structure in your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.