IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Everyone wants to build a house of their dreams and in most of the nations, the residence ownership is considered paramount in comparison to the rented apartments.
This
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 essay will discuss why
this
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 is happening and how it
is somehow makes
Change the verb form
somehow makes
show examples
 a positive development in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, for a major portion of society owning a house is a symbol of achievement and success.
Along with
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 that, private housing provides a sense of security and stability for the family
whereas
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, renting a flat would not provide that.
Furthermore
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,
this
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also
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 provides motivation to an individual and drives them towards a goal.
For example
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people buy
homeloans
Correct your spelling
home loans
 to construct houses so that they can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permanent
dwelling
Fix the agreement mistake
dwellings
show examples
 for their families and children and it allows them to focus on other aspects of life.
Moreover
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, they do not have to worry about moving from
place
Use synonyms
 to
place
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, it is
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
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 situation as it
also
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 contributes towards better mental health because for many people it
act
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acts
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 as
safety
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a safety
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 net and they feel like they have a
place
Use synonyms
 where they can always
retun
Correct your spelling
return
 to which is their own.
Additionally
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,
palnning
Correct your spelling
planning
 a family seems less daunting and individuals feel content and happy. They can direct their investments towards the education of their
offsprings
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offspring
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 and
To sum up
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, the parallels between owning a
place
Use synonyms
 and accomplishment
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 deemed conventionally synonymous among the population.
Nonetheless
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, it
it
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apply
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gives a feeling of
securedness
Correct your spelling
secureness
sacredness
 and solidity.
Finally
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,
this
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 positively promotes psychological health.

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logical structure
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented. Ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay.
complete response
The task has been addressed but the ideas lack clarity and coherence. Ensure that the ideas are well-organized and logically presented.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks specific and relevant examples to support the main points. Use examples to back up your ideas and make them more concrete.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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