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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities ( for example, helping at home and at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is widely controversial that offspring of all ages should have extra tasks after
school
Use synonyms
 hours at home or at work.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, others have argued that kids should have access to unwind in their lives outside of
school
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. Personally, I advocated vehemently that extra responsibilities have a strong effect on
children
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 and I would elaborate on both views. On the one hand, people should recognise the fact that there are a variety of reasons why kids should enjoy their lives after
school
Use synonyms
 hours.
Firstly
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, it is noticeable to comprehend that youths of all ages have suffered from a number of educational burdens in their
school
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,
therefore
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, they are appropriate to unwind outside of
school
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. To illustrate
this
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 point, many European nations do not give homework to their students because they make judgements that offspring should be prone to combine play with education to perceive naturally.
Secondly
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, another reason is to lessen the rates of offspring’s death.
For example
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 , many surveys prove that numerous kids who are at higher risks of stress, depression and anxiety disorders on account of not having rest indulge in death.
On the other hand
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 , apart from the merits of young individuals’s rest outside of
school
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 expressed above, I propose explicitly that schoolers of all ages should have extra responsibilities in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and work. A very vital point is that
children
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 are likely to be trained in a variety of essential skills,
such
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 as self-reliance, problem-solving and independence.
Likewise
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, there are numerous young people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 may not dare to get out of their parents' support to live in other places because of not having unsophisticated skills in their lives.
In addition
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, extra tasks assist
school
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 learners in moving up their ladders or pursuing their dreams, dedicating a fundamental motivation to the evolution of society ,which lessens the sedentary lifestyle of
children
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 there are a number of upsides associated with
children
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’s rest.
Nonetheless
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, I advocate that extra responsibilities trigger many vigorous effects on
children
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.

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task response
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed and provide a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring the essay with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
lexical resource
Improve the use of varied vocabulary and avoid repetitive language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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