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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Healthcare should not be provided for free regardless of a person’s income. The health of a person is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. Do you agree with this opinion?

#healthcare #person’s #income #health #person #hands
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Healthcare
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 is a fundamental aspect of societal well-being and is often a subject of debate concerning its provision based on individual income.
While
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 some argue that citizens should bear the responsibility for their
health
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 and that
healthcare
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 should not be universally free, I vehemently disagree with
this
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 notion. Access to
healthcare
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 should not be contingent on personal income as it transcends individual accountability and aligns with basic human rights. One pivotal reason for my opinion is that
health
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 is influenced by a myriad of factors beyond an individual's control. Genetic predispositions, environmental factors, and unforeseen accidents can significantly impact one's
health
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 status irrespective of personal lifestyle choices.
For instance
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, a person born with a genetic illness or someone exposed to environmental toxins
due to
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 their location cannot be held solely accountable for their
health
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 conditions.
Furthermore
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, making
healthcare
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 contingent on financial status exacerbates societal inequality. In a system where
healthcare
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 is only accessible to those who can afford it, the less affluent are disproportionately affected.
This
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 leads to a stark contrast in the level of
healthcare
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 received between the wealthy and the less privileged, perpetuating social disparities and hindering equitable access to essential medical services. In conclusion,
healthcare
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 is a fundamental human right that should be universally accessible, irrespective of an individual's financial standing.
Health
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 outcomes are influenced by multifaceted factors that go beyond personal responsibility, and denying
healthcare
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 based on income exacerbates societal inequalities. A system that guarantees equal access to
healthcare
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 promotes social justice and ensures that citizens, regardless of their financial situation, have the opportunity to lead healthy lives.
Submitted by dongocuyennhi1102001 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance it further, ensure that the transition between paragraphs is seamless, connecting ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
While your response to the task is clear and you've provided comprehensive ideas, adding more varied examples from real-life situations or studies would further strengthen your argument and increase task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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