Some people believe that the country would benefit a lot from a large number of young people who enter into university; however, others think that the large number of people receiving the education of university only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
have different view whether or not children should attend universities to attain higher education.While
some believe having a more educated populace would greatly benefit the nation
, others contend that graduate degrees just lead to higher rate
of unemployment among graduates. This
essay will explore both viewpoints and offers a prespective that synthesizes these arguments.
On one hand, higher number
of literates help a nation
to have better literacy index, greater number
of educated people
can help nation
to grow by sharing better and innovative ideas. further
it also
helps to improve hygine index as educated pupil are generally aware and know how to maintain proper hygine standards which will reduce the number
of diseases in the country. For instance
: Ireland with highest literacy rate
in the world excels in multiple areas such
as innovation and medical facilities.
On other hand, people
who assert university education leads to unemployemnt is because AI has taken over multiple jobs earlier done by humans, which has enhances the employement rate
in several countries. As job market is getting smaller due to
advancement of technology and introduction of robots, younger generation is left with very less number
of job opportunites leading to the problem of unemployment in masses. For example
: In Australia, multiple jobs in hospitality industry earlier done by young graduates have been overtaken by robots now.
In conclusion, I can understand why people
want to refrain children from studying at universities because of higher unemplyment rate
, but it seems studying at university can helps an individual to shape their nation
for a better tommorow. That is
why I believe university education is very important as it helps an individual to be financially independent and contribute their part to make this
world a better place to live.Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on
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Spelling and Grammar
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies. For example, 'hygine' should be 'hygiene,' and 'employement' should be 'employment.'
Coherence
While the arguments are well-presented, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better coherence. Perhaps add linking phrases like 'Moreover' or 'Additionally'.
Task Response
Consider providing a more nuanced range of examples to further support your arguments. For instance, mentioning various countries or industries can add depth to your analysis.
Balanced Argument
The essay effectively covers both viewpoints and includes a balanced perspective. This is crucial for task achievement.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a comprehensive overview and summary, respectively.
Example Usage
Relevant and specific examples, like Ireland and Australia, help to substantiate the arguments made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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