In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own? What are the reasons people choose to do this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
individuals
are likely to live alone. They usually do whatever they want and choose. Loneliness can give happiness to them. Sometimes, it will affect their social life so they feel sad and empty. Humans usually live on their own because they want some freedom and independence.
Moreover
, they try to explore themselves in loneliness with some activities.
Then
, these
individuals
can learn about their personalities. Sometimes, living alone can save their
money
or even their energy. What does it mean?
People
can spend their
money
on themselves alone so they will not spend that
money
on
others
.
Second,
individuals
should not produce extra energy to communicate or debate with
others
. If we see it from a positive perspective, we can conclude that living alone will save us
money
and energy. They can spend the
money
on whatever they need,
for example
,
individuals
use the
money
to support their hobbies.
Then
, they should not debate or fight with their partners.
Besides
,
people
can reach their dreams without thinking about their families. Living alone allows
people
to expand their goals.
On the other hand
, loneliness can have a negative impact on us. To illustrate, humans without a partner usually feel sad or even depressed. It happens because they do not talk and limit their social life with
others
. They usually cannot create good communication and fail to make relationships. In conclusion, I believe that
individuals
who are living alone are not good because they restrict their lives only
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
themselves.
However
, as social creatures,
people
should communicate and live to support and help
others
.
Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include these sections to provide a proper structure and to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points of the essay could be better supported with more specific examples or evidence. Try to provide more detailed and relevant information to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the given task. Make sure to fully respond to the question prompt and provide a comprehensive analysis of the reasons people choose to live alone. You can also consider evaluating whether it is a positive or negative trend.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay presents some clear ideas, the information is not well-organized, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow. Focus on improving the coherence and cohesion of your writing by using appropriate transition words and organizing your ideas into paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary. To improve your lexical resource score, try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to express your ideas. Additionally, aim for more precise word choices and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
The essay contains various grammatical errors, including missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and inconsistent tenses. Take the time to proofread your work and practice sentence structure and verb agreement to improve your grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: