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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offenses
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In
this
 day and age, more and more
people
 believe that it is essential for the government to use stricter penalties in order to reduce
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large number of accidents and protect the safety of drivers. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
 phenomenon as I suppose that there are better ways to address these transportation-related issues. On the one hand, there are many reasons why imposing stricter punishments for criminal driving is extremely important. More and more
people
 using personal vehicles violate the law
such
 as running red lights, speeding or driving drunk, leading to thousands of casualties every year.
Thus
, strict punishment plays an important role in improving many adverse problems related to traffic accidents. These disciplines,
such
 as paying a heavy fine or banning them from driving for a period of time, can
instill
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instil
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 fear and discourage lawbreakers from driving again.
For example
, if a driver violates traffic laws, he will be given a heavy fine to remind him that he should not do it again.
On the other hand
, the government should combine stricter laws with other effective measures to promote better driving habits. One suggestion is to launch campaigns related to education about proper driving
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and the consequences of committing driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 in order to raise
people
's awareness. Another approach is to increase the legal driving age of young
people
, which means that they will have more time to sharpen their driving skills.
Thus
, the combination of these methods can create more desired results than relying on only one. In conclusion, not only severe punishment for driving offences but
also
 other measures contribute to heightening
people
's awareness and improving road safety.
Submitted by luongduy30411996 on

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Task Response
Provide a clear position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource
Improve the range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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