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Band 6

some people think that having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. however, others believe skills and expertise are ,more important. Discuss both sides and give opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

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In today’s competitive
job
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 market, the debate about the significance of a
university
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degree
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 versus practical
skills
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 and
expertise
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 is ongoing.
While
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 some argue that
a
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apply
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formal education provides a reliable pathway to lucrative employment, others believe that relevant
skills
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 and hands-on experience are more valuable. In my opinion,
although
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 a
degree
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 can open doors, practical
skills
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 and
expertise
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 ultimately play a more crucial role in career success. On one hand, obtaining a
university
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degree
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 is often considered essential for securing a good
job
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.
This
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 is because higher education provides theoretical knowledge, critical thinking
skills
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, and a formal qualification that many employers require.
For instance
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, professions
such
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 as medicine, engineering, and law mandate specialized degrees as they involve complex and technical tasks.
Additionally
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, having a
degree
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 can enhance an individual's credibility and increase their chances of promotion.
Moreover
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, universities offer networking opportunities, allowing students to build connections with industry professionals, which can be beneficial for career advancement.
On the other hand
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, practical
skills
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 and
expertise
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 are increasingly valued in today’s rapidly evolving
job
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 market. Many employers prioritize candidates who possess relevant
skills
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 and can contribute to productivity from day one.
For example
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, in the tech industry,
skills
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 in programming languages or digital marketing are often preferred over formal qualifications.
Additionally
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, hands-on experience allows individuals to adapt to real-world challenges effectively. In fact, many successful entrepreneurs and innovators,
such
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 as Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg, did not complete their
university
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 education but excelled
due to
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 their exceptional
skills
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 and innovative ideas. In conclusion, both
university
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 degrees and practical
skills
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 have their own significance in securing a good
job
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.
While
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 a
degree
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 offers theoretical knowledge and credibility,
skills
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 and
expertise
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 provide practical experience and adaptability.
Therefore
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, individuals should strive to obtain both educational qualifications and relevant
skills
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 to maximize their career opportunities in today’s dynamic
job
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 market.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples, such as statistics or case studies that illustrate the importance of skills versus degrees.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a few more transition words to enhance flow between ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and effectively discusses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding reader understanding.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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