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Band 6

In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of extreme or adventure sports?

#adventure #sports
The impact of extreme
sports
 has sparked major controversy in society.
While
 some people believe that playing extreme
sports
 might bring several advantages, others claim that the opposite holds true.
This
 essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and
thus
 lead to a logical conclusion.
First,
there are numerous reasons why playing extreme
sports
 might bring several advantages, but the most crucial one stems from the fact that experiences and thrills will play a vital role in individuals and their lifestyles. As a matter of fact, good physical condition and good health will offer tons of benefits to improve stress and build confidence.
According to
 a recent study conducted by reputable researchers at Sydney University, experiencing strong feelings and thrills will greatly contribute to overcoming one’s own fear.
Nevertheless
, some people adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that the opposite holds true. It is largely attributed to the fact that the cost of protective clothing may have negative impacts on financial problems. To be more precise, the disadvantages of risking severe injury might be
due to
 parkour.
For example
, the downsides of not being relieved of moods and frustrations in life are critical. In conclusion,
while
 there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that playing extreme
sports
 might bring several advantages.
Submitted by Klein_shy on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the given topic and provides a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the organization of ideas and improve the coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and provide more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Work on the accuracy of grammar and sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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