IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #features #comparisons
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The bar chart provides data on the average weekly household expenditure of the citizens in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the maximum portion of income was spent
behind
Change preposition
on
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 food in 1968,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the year
2018
Add a comma
2018,
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 it was on leisure activities.
Spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
Spending
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 on fuel and power
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 found
minimum
Replace the word
minimal
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 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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years. In terms of food, about 35% of income was spent in 1968,
while
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 in 2018 the percentage
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 went down to around 17%.
Expediture
Correct your spelling
Expenditure
 on fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 and personal goods
also
Linking Words
 experienced almost a 50% decrease over the period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, leisure accounted
an
Change preposition
for an
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 increase from 9% to 22% in 2018.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, housing
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 almost doubled from 10% in 1968 to 19% in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending
over
Change preposition
on
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 transport increased from around 8% to 14% in the year 1969 and 2018, respectively. Noticeably, expenditure
behind
Change preposition
on
show examples
 household goods remained unchanged over the mentioned period of time.
Submitted by asifiqbal1264 on

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
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