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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why is it the case and what can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers #case
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In numerous countries, the rate of juvenile delinquents is said to be worsening. The root cause of
this
Linking Words
 is the lack of parental skill in educating
children
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, yet it can be tackled by the government conducting some
courses
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 for
parents
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 on how to nurture their
children
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 effectively. The principal cause of committing crimes in young offenders is poor discipline at home. It must be recognized that
parents
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 are not strict and careful enough with their
children
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.
Consequently
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,
children
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 do not obey the parental commission
as well as
Linking Words
 rebel in society. In turn, those criminals break the law but do not realize their acts are illegal. Take Vietnam as an example here, where 25,22% of inmates
miss
Wrong verb form
have missed
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 an education in the past. A solution,
however
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, can be found in government action towards parental
skills
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. The most effective approach is for
parents
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 to register for the
courses
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 of educating
children
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, parental
skills
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 can be improved and
also
Linking Words
 lead to
children
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's compliance at home.
This
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 is true in India, where the government organize some free
courses
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 on managing
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
children
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 for all
parents
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 around the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the increase in juvenile criminals stems from
parents
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 lacking educational
skills
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 at home.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, providing
parents
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the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
courses
Use synonyms
 to nurture their
skills
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 in bringing up
children
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 will improve
children
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's
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and attitudes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the high percentage of young criminals stems from the shortage of parental
skills
Use synonyms
 in bringing up their
children
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, organizing some free
courses
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 to instruct
parents
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 on how to educate
children
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 in the right way will deter the rate of juvenile delinquents.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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