IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

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There is no denying that
students
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 prevent themselves from engaging in science
subjects
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 at
university
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 and
this
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 issue has become very common in different countries. If
Students
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 who are in higher education had a chance to choose between a variety of
subjects
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 , they would prefer to study the easiest subject
as well as
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 in the naughtiest they like hanging out with their friends , sitting with their families and watching movies without doing efforts , they don't want to be busy at studying and have many projects and homework to do.
Therefore
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 , many
students
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 think that science
subjects
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 are quite difficult to study like complicated theories and work in laboratories, and
consequently
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, they will lose marks ,be expelled from
university
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 and stay at home without doing anything for their future so ,
students
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 are afraid of these things to happen especially when they are under pressure by their parents.
Moreover
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 , some
students
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 are gifted in their memorizing abilities so they choose historical and economic
subjects
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 that depend on memorizing more than understanding the contest.
Also
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 , it depends on their personality and what they like to study in
university
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.
On the other hand
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, the person can be affected by his friends ,
for instance
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, he likes the sciences but his friends force him to choose what they chose in order to be in the same field and class in the
university
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. In conclusion , there is no doubt that every person has the right to choose the subject that he can innovate new ideas and be professional in it ,
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However
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however
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 , it should not result in more focus being placed on a few
subjects
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 alongside the other
subjects
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 because there will be bad effects to the society
such
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 as
leack
Correct your spelling
lack
 of services and jobs in the society

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task achievement
Work on creating a clear and strong thesis statement that directly addresses the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument.
task achievement
Expand on examples and include more specific instances to illustrate your points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and attempts to engage with the topic by discussing students' choice of subjects.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a statement that summarizes the writer's opinion, helping to round off the discussion.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide reasons for students' tendencies towards certain subjects, which adds depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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