some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Competitive
sports
play a significant role in the
education
of teenagers. Individuals think that competitive
sports
have either a positive or negative impact on teenagers containing an
education
.
This
essay will describe these statements clearly. The positive effect of
sports
is creating a balance in the
students
, so they can heal their souls by playing
sports
.
In contrast
, the
students
can forget their tasks and responsibilities because they have too much fun playing
sports
.
To begin
with, competitive
sports
are believed to have a positive effect on
education
for improving physical health. Regular physical activity can increase concentration, reduce stress, and enhance mental well-being, leading to better academic performance.
For instance
,
students
following
sports
appropriately will have a good life cycle, so they can follow the studying process without health problems.
Therefore
, following
sports
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will balance
students
’ lives because they can maintain their body condition.
On the other hand
, some people
also
argue that a profound interest in
sports
can have negative effects on
education
. Too concerned about
sports
can distract
students
’ main goal of
education
because they focus on
sports
over studies.
For example
,
students
who are obsessed with
sports
will waste their whole time playing
sports
, which will cause they do not follow the study process and forget all of the tasks and responsibilities. In conclusion,
while
competitive
sports
offer significant benefits
such
as improving physical health, reducing stress, and enhancing concentration, they can
also
present challenges if not balanced with academic responsibilities. It is crucial for
students
to engage in
sports
, ensuring that their passion for physical activities does not interfere with their educational goals. A healthy balance between
sports
and academics will allow
students
to reap the benefits of both, fostering holistic development.
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task achievement
Make sure that the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument in a balanced manner before stating that the essay will discuss these sides.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments, including studies, statistics, or real-life examples.
task achievement
Work on developing each main point in more detail to provide a more nuanced discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is well-developed around that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied transition words and phrases to improve flow and connectivity between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are addressed, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
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