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Band 6

In the past, many people got married when they were very young, but today, many people do not get married until later. Why do you think they do this, and is it a good or a bad idea?

#people #idea
Life is changing year after year and generation after generation. It is not stable but it adapted
due to
 the circumstances and variants that it faced. One of the most noticeable changes that happen nowadays is getting married. In the past
people
 used to get married when they were young but nowadays many
people
 do not get married until they get older. There are many factors that cause that phenomenon like living standards, job availability, and anxiety about finding a true partner. To commence with living standards,
it is clear that
 life condition has become more complicated than before. It is hard to apply all
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
 that you need. Obviously, Costs and expenses are increased incredibly.
For example
, mobile phones, computers and furniture are considered as necessary complements nowadays. In the past
people
 were not forced to buy these stuff and save their costs to get married.
Moreover
, obtaining a well-paid salary, recently, could be an imaginary scene. A high number of graduates who have filled up the job need market opportunity is more than sufficient. Employers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are looking for high employees with the highest
decree
Correct your spelling
degree
show examples
 and years of experience.
Therefore
, Fresh graduates could face obstacles to getting appropriate jobs. In conclusion,
although
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 couple could bear responsibility earlier getting married, nowadays, is a sophisticated process that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 deliberated steps that could take longer times and
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
 get married when they are old. In my opinion, getting married is a good prescription that makes partners wiser and able to prepare themselves better.
Submitted by solimanfarag777 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all points directly address the given topic and clearly state your opinion on whether it is a good or bad idea to delay marriage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words and phrases. Use synonyms and collocations to express your ideas in a more nuanced way.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar. Use a variety of sentence types and structures to demonstrate your grammatical range and control.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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