IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In the modern era
holiday
Use synonyms
 in the
mother
Add a comma
mother,
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 would be preferable rather than travel around the world in my view I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point for several reasons I mentioned below
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
show examples
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 abroad on
holidayHas
Correct your spelling
holidays
 quite merits Discoveries new cultures
such
Linking Words
 as Their cuisine
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 Especially the local one and taste new
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
Body paragraph 1
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 their habitat and traditional things like dressing down
for instance
Linking Words
 when I had travelled to Egypt I Compared the
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional dressing and dance
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Nobian people With the Sudanese people and I
Have been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
found,It’s almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 you will see the histological 30 and one means a lot man
also
Linking Words
 making new friends and social so in nutshell You will shop to get my one stone variously going on
holiday
Use synonyms
 and
secondly
Linking Words
 new experience and discoveries
Body paragraph 3
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 many people prefer to spend
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
holiday
Use synonyms
 in
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own
country
Use synonyms
 for their special reasons
such
Linking Words
 as minimise
a
Change the word
their
show examples
 budget are going to their relatives in another city
in addition
Linking Words
 to using
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
 in your
country
Use synonyms
 you will trigger the government to take care of the monuments And places attraction tourist
Conclusion
in conclusion in spite of going to spend the
holiday
Use synonyms
 in your own
country
Use synonyms
 or outside
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 both advantages ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 it around the whole world

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and phrases to enhance the essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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