Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

All members of a community have a strong desire to accomplish their goals, most assume

this

Linking Words

is achieved by a career graduation or obtaining a high-level education. Others believe that the only way to success is by earning a lot of money. In my view, I will explain why I consider the second statement the tip for being a successful person.

Firstly

Linking Words

, people who think a person is successful by their knowledge

due to

Linking Words

better-paid jobs, professionals

such

Linking Words

as doctors, engineers and lawyers, get quite a respect and admiration from the community.

For example

Linking Words

, the majority of elderly people don't complain or refuse a doctor's recommendation, another example, is labourers and semi-professionals assume the orders given by engineers in terms of how to build or repair something.

Overall

Linking Words

, having a high level in the academic field is a guarantee of achieving objectives.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

perception is actually false, and ideally instilled in young students, actually, the demand for professionals is so high, that reputation and well-paid jobs are decreasing unexpectedly.

As a result

Linking Words

, these days another way of having a good time is by earning money in unconventional ways.

For instance

Linking Words

, Youtubers and TikTokers earn millions of dollars with a simple 30-second video doing a joke, if

this

Linking Words

value is multiplied by 10 stories per month the profits are astonishing.

Therefore

Linking Words

, you get the acknowledgement of the people with the financial freedom all human beings are searching for. In conclusion, to succeed in

this

Linking Words

world you have two options, studying in a hard-working science field, specialising academically and obtaining a well-paid job, facing off the competitors, or becoming viral in social media, with no effort to build a public that will love and pay for the content. If I were to choose, I would select definitely the second perspective.

sebastianher18Mon Jun 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

Clarify your main argument in the introduction to provide a clear thesis statement. This can help give your essay a stronger sense of direction and purpose.

logical structure

While your essay is generally coherent, adding some more transitional phrases can connect your ideas more smoothly. Phrases like 'on the other hand', 'in contrast', 'furthermore', and 'additionally' can help.

supported main points

Some points, like the earning potential of social media influencers, could be expanded to provide clearer and more comprehensive support for your argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Address minor grammatical and phrasing issues to improve overall readability. For example, instead of "labourers and semi-professionals assume the orders given by engineers," you could say "take orders from engineers."

introduction conclusion

The essay effectively provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

complete response

You successfully tackle both parts of the prompt by discussing different definitions of success and providing your own perspective.

relevant specific examples

Your use of specific examples such as 'Youtubers and TikTokers' adds relevance and concreteness to your arguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

fulfillment
personal goals
happiness
career milestones
professional development
financial independence
security
philanthropy
contribution
personal development
recognition
work-life balance
self-improvement
well-being
subjective

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for people to take a job based on the salary offered by the company. Some people think that the difference between the lowest jobs and the highest-paid jobs should be reduced. However, I firmly disagree that the earnings difference should be reduced for 2 main reasons.
6
band
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
More and more parents are beginning to embrace homeschooling for their children. While some believe that this option is the best for a child’s growth, there are others who strongly think going to a physical school is more important. Although there are many advantages to both options, I think that the pros of physical schooling far outweigh those of homeschooling.
6.5
band
Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverment should make it free for all student no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, there is a growing trend of students facing barriers to access higher education due to financial constraints. This phenomenon arises from a lack of government emphasis on education within their respective countries. This essay advocates for the initiation of programs that make university education free for all aspiring individuals, taking into consideration their financial statuses. Supporting such initiatives is crucial for elevating the overall level of education, particularly for the younger generation.
8
band
Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that rich nations should allow more refugees to enter their borders and support them with food and shelter. This essay completely agrees with this view because rich countries have enough resources to do this and these people are fleeing from countries that are affected by war and famine.
7
band
fast food has become cheaper in recent years. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Junk food is available at low cost in recent years. Although this change saves money, its disadvantages of increased health illness and decreased family bondings are more significant.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverment should make it free for all student no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

fast food has become cheaper in recent years. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages