Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?
All members of a community have a strong desire to accomplish their goals, most assume
this
is achieved by a career graduation or obtaining a high-level education. Others believe that the only way to success is by earning a lot of money. In my view, I will explain why I consider the second statement the tip for being a successful person.
Firstly
, people who think a person is successful by their knowledge due to
better-paid jobs, professionals such
as doctors, engineers and lawyers, get quite a respect and admiration from the community. For example
, the majority of elderly people don't complain or refuse a doctor's recommendation, another example, is labourers and semi-professionals assume the orders given by engineers in terms of how to build or repair something. Overall
, having a high level in the academic field is a guarantee of achieving objectives.
Secondly
, this
perception is actually false, and ideally instilled in young students, actually, the demand for professionals is so high, that reputation and well-paid jobs are decreasing unexpectedly. As a result
, these days another way of having a good time is by earning money in unconventional ways. For instance
, Youtubers and TikTokers earn millions of dollars with a simple 30-second video doing a joke, if this
value is multiplied by 10 stories per month the profits are astonishing. Therefore
, you get the acknowledgement of the people with the financial freedom all human beings are searching for.
In conclusion, to succeed in this
world you have two options, studying in a hard-working science field, specialising academically and obtaining a well-paid job, facing off the competitors, or becoming viral in social media, with no effort to build a public that will love and pay for the content. If I were to choose, I would select definitely the second perspective.Submitted by sebastianher18 on
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logical structure
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to provide a clear thesis statement. This can help give your essay a stronger sense of direction and purpose.
logical structure
While your essay is generally coherent, adding some more transitional phrases can connect your ideas more smoothly. Phrases like 'on the other hand', 'in contrast', 'furthermore', and 'additionally' can help.
supported main points
Some points, like the earning potential of social media influencers, could be expanded to provide clearer and more comprehensive support for your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Address minor grammatical and phrasing issues to improve overall readability. For example, instead of "labourers and semi-professionals assume the orders given by engineers," you could say "take orders from engineers."
introduction conclusion
The essay effectively provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
complete response
You successfully tackle both parts of the prompt by discussing different definitions of success and providing your own perspective.
relevant specific examples
Your use of specific examples such as 'Youtubers and TikTokers' adds relevance and concreteness to your arguments.
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