Nowadays, some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, cosmetics and even plastic surgerie. What are the reasons? Is it a good thing?

There has been a noticeable change in

people

Use synonyms

changing their own look through hair, and cosmetics .

This

Linking Words

essay will point out the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

trend,

as well as

Linking Words

add critics regarding

such

Linking Words

irresponsible behaviour of

people

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is natural for humans like ourselves to experience

such

Linking Words

urges to look good among the public. One couldn't imagine oneself being recognized as what is called a public outcast.

Thus

Linking Words

unsurprisingly, thousands of fortunes are spent to help them become a "swan among the pond".

However

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, that was just the tip of the iceberg as there are lots of

people

Use synonyms

who underwent deformed birthmarks,

in other words

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

suffered from abnormal appearances.

Hence

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surgery is the only option for these types of

people

Use synonyms

to help them enjoy everyday life without any discrimination. Other than that, captivating beauty surgery to look good is blasphemy and ridiculous. There have been many reports showing the danger of cosmetics and plastic surgeries,

thus

Linking Words

the choice of adding plastic to our bodies just to be beautiful is ignorant behaviour.

For example

Linking Words

, there was an event that shocked everyone in Vietnam when a fraud who identified himself as an experienced surgeon, did a surgery which involved inflating a young woman's chest.

As a result

Linking Words

, that young woman, who expected to have a successful result after spending millions of Vietnam dong,

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sadly lost her life.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the fraud was arrested.

To conclude

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, it is no surprise for humans to pursue the beauty standard to raise their own public image.

However

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, concerning health, it would be wise if we just stopped

Change preposition

apply

show examples

dying our hair and doing make-up.

maituanorange

Oct 29, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs are logically connected and support the main argument.

coherence cohesion

Include a clearer thesis statement and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary, including more formal academic terms.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alter
appearance
self-expression
social media
cultural norms
beauty standards
confidence boost
cosmetic procedures
individuality
creativity
self-esteem
conformity
enhance

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Nowadays, some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, cosmetics and even plastic surgerie. What are the reasons? Is it a good thing?

being a celebrity such as star bring a lot of problems and benefits.

As technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.