‏Some people do not go directly to college but travel or work for a short time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#‏some #people #college #travel #work #time

There is no doubt that these days, education has become an integral element of our lives. Some

people

prefer travelling or working for a short period before they enter university. In

this

essay, I Discuss the negatives and positives in the following paragraphs and provide my point of view. ‏ In terms of advantages, a career has a positive impact on the lives of individuals before engaging in college. It is undeniable that most

people

gain personal growth and development through work.

Furthermore

, work allows them to acquire practical experiences and knowledge.

In addition

, young individuals would be financially independent .

For instance

, in the restaurant sector can be observed most employees are young

people

, working in order to secure their needs and their families.

Therefore

people

will be more aware of their responsibilities in future .

Besides

, Traveling can change the psychological state and allow for the renewal of energy. ‏

In contrast

, working

instead

of directly getting into college could

also

have some drawbacks as well.

First,

delayed entry into the job market because most career nowadays requires specific degree or qualifications .

Secondly

, the labour market is more competitive for those qualified and experienced than those without .

Moreover

, it would be difficult to return to education.

Last

but not least, unlearned

people

always have financial struggles in their lives. ‏

To sum up

, I do believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks because nowadays experiences and personal skills are important for applying to work.

In addition

, working allows

people

to be more responsible.

Therefore

Submitted by du.sg16 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow and organization of the essay.

Lexical Resource

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Grammatical Range

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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‏Some people do not go directly to college but travel or work for a short time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Research says more and more business training and meetings take place online. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

An American writer think that tomorrow is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically. As a result, some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on a academic work.