Some people think the most important thing about being rich is that it gives a person an opportunity to help other people, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

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People

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expect rich

people

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should help poor individuals. I strongly agree with

this

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opinion because it is important to think about

others

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rather than turning a blind eye to poor

people

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To begin

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with, Some wealthy

people

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would like to spend a particular part of their

money

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investing in a way

that is

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beneficial for

others

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. actually, it causes peace and happiness themselves. They assist

people

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by establishing companies and factories, so they can give jobs and rewards to

people

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who need them, I think it is the best thing they can do because some poor

people

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believe that they have self-esteem and they should work and earn

money

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. they don'

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accept any monetary help from

others

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without hard work.

Furthermore

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, there are lots of rich

people

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who help

others

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in different ways, by supporting children who wouldn'

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be able to pay their school fees and even can'

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purchase their uniforms, notebooks, bags, shoes, and so on.

Moreover

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, some wealthy

people

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invest their

money

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in building new schools, hospitals, and libraries in rural areas that don'

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have them and they aren'

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helped by governments.

Also

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, they give their helping hand to

others

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who can'

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afford to buy and rent a house.

In addition

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, they give financial support to athletes and artists to train more and provide crucial equipment for them. There are many rich

people

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who invest their bucks in investigations about maintaining the environment, dropping air pollution, and some activities like

this

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which are very important for the health of folks. In conclusion, rich

people

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who do these charities, feel pleased in their life, so these activities are beneficial for themselves and the poverties. The most important point is

money

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has a very critical role in the satisfaction and delight of

people

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all around the world.

Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Provide a stronger conclusion to summarize your main points.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar usage to improve clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think the most important thing about being rich is that it gives a person an opportunity to help other people, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the earth is being damaged by human activity. Other feels that the human activity makes the earth a better place to live in. Discuss both the views and state your opinion.

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Some people say that a teacher’s main role in school is to motivate and inspire students. However, others believe that a teacher’s primary role is to pass on knowledge. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Topic 1 : As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teacher in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?