Emily doesn't think that school children should enter TV talent show. Do you agree with her or not? What are the advantages and disadvantages of entering talent contests while still at school? Give reasons for your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Participating in a TV talent show during school years can be a contentious issue
due to
Linking Words
the emotions it stirs. I am going to give my point of view above. There are many advantages to participating in a TV talent show as a student.
For example
Linking Words
, young talents can provide their skills, by taking place in these competitions, and might be seen by a producer or director. It can
also
Linking Words
boost their confidence as they receive recognition and feedback.
Moreover
Linking Words
, participating in
such
Linking Words
shows can teach valuable life skills,
such
Linking Words
as discipline, time management, and the ability to handle pressure.
However
Linking Words
, there are disadvantages too. Many hours on stage might interfere with academic responsibilities. Kids might not have enough time to study.
In addition
Linking Words
, other students might be jealous of their schoolmate's success and start criticism and bullying them.
As a result
Linking Words
, talented kids might feel neglected, and lose both their friends and educational opportunities. In conclusion, I believe the decision on whether schoolchildren should enter TV talent shows should consider the individual child, but
also
Linking Words
have support from their family and the whole social and education system. It's essential to have a balance between raising their talents and having a healthy education.
Submitted by mayiou on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that a clear position is stated in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: