IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries family and friends who care for the elderly do not find time to look after them. What are the reasons and solutions?

#countries #friends #care #time
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In the modern era a busy schedule many people has been neglecting their family.
However
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,
a long working hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
long working hours
a long working hour
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 they spend all day in the workplace because they have to fulfil their basic needs. In the expensive world, it is difficult to earn enough so they do overtime on duty. Some overseas students study for career growth so they will get a good opportunity in the future.
This
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 essay will elaborate on the problems and solutions in the following paragraphs. In
this
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 contemporary
time
Use synonyms
, people need to earn money for their relatives.
However
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, a lack of
attention
Use synonyms
 from the
parents
Use synonyms
 by pupils. Taking care of their
parents
Use synonyms
 is forgotten by their children because they have no
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with them.
Besides
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this
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, distance is being increased from their loved ones. Though, work late hours they can't meet their
parents
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis. In Pakistan, 60% is daily worker earn money from different jobs so they run their home.
Consequently
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,
parents
Use synonyms
 are neglected by these problems and get ill.
Hence
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, they need personal
attention
Use synonyms
as well as
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 emotional support.
In addition
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, a career goal young students go for studying purposes so that they can get a good job.
Hence
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, they can't pay
attention
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 to their older people so they get sick and weak. They need proper
attention
Use synonyms
as well as
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 emotional support so they remain healthy. In a nutshell, a plethora of folks do not pay
attention
Use synonyms
 to their birthgivers because they earn money for them and have no
time
Use synonyms
 to sit for a
while
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.
This
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 indicates that they are lacking their family so it is better to give proper
time
Use synonyms
 to them.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the question prompt. Provide relevant examples and support your ideas with details.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas and developing a clear logical structure. Make sure that your paragraphs flow logically and that your ideas are well-connected.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to express your ideas more precisely. Also, pay attention to word choice and use appropriate academic language.
grammatical range
Improve your grammatical accuracy and range. Pay attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and use of articles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly care
  • work-life balance
  • geographical distance
  • support network
  • professional care services
  • extended family systems
  • responsibilities
  • burnout
  • work schedules
  • training programs
  • cost of living
  • social changes
  • caregiving
  • time constraints
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