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Band 6.5

In some countries family and friends who care for the elderly do not find time to look after them. What are the reasons and solutions?

#countries #friends #care #time
In the modern era a busy schedule many people has been neglecting their family.
However
,
a long working hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
long working hours
a long working hour
show examples
 they spend all day in the workplace because they have to fulfil their basic needs. In the expensive world, it is difficult to earn enough so they do overtime on duty. Some overseas students study for career growth so they will get a good opportunity in the future.
This
 essay will elaborate on the problems and solutions in the following paragraphs. In
this
 contemporary
time
, people need to earn money for their relatives.
However
, a lack of
attention
 from the
parents
 by pupils. Taking care of their
parents
 is forgotten by their children because they have no
time
 to spend with them.
Besides
this
, distance is being increased from their loved ones. Though, work late hours they can't meet their
parents
 on a daily basis. In Pakistan, 60% is daily worker earn money from different jobs so they run their home.
Consequently
,
parents
 are neglected by these problems and get ill.
Hence
, they need personal
attention
as well as
 emotional support.
In addition
, a career goal young students go for studying purposes so that they can get a good job.
Hence
, they can't pay
attention
 to their older people so they get sick and weak. They need proper
attention
as well as
 emotional support so they remain healthy. In a nutshell, a plethora of folks do not pay
attention
 to their birthgivers because they earn money for them and have no
time
 to sit for a
while
.
This
 indicates that they are lacking their family so it is better to give proper
time
 to them.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to express your ideas more precisely. Also, pay attention to word choice and use appropriate academic language.
grammatical range
Improve your grammatical accuracy and range. Pay attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and use of articles.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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