Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Shopping from digital platforms to get goods or services is increasingly common in
this
era. Although
it will decrease the profit that will be made by sellers in the offline stores, buying things
on the Internet is easier and more practical for many people
. In my opinion, despite the disadvantages that may be faced, getting things
from digital platforms will give more benefits to people
.
Nowadays, many people
feel going to a store is a waste of time. They prefer to use their phone or computer to buy things
. This
habit has a bad impact on the seller in many traditional markets. For example
, many stores in the traditional market
can not survive after the pandemic covid-19 because most of the population in the city buys their needs from e-commerce. Therefore
, buying things
on the Internet can have a bad impact on certain societies.
Conversely
, many people
feel benefits from the facilities that they get on the internet. Shopping from e-commerce takes a shorter time than going to the market
. For instance
, it only takes about 5 minutes to buy things
from an online store, after that people
can wait and do other things
. Thus
, the digital era provides easier solutions for urban people
who need faster services.
To summarize, there are a significant number of people
who prefer to buy things
online. Although
it will give nuisances to the seller in the traditional market
, buying things
from the digital market
is simpler. I must admit that shopping from digital platforms have
more benefits to most of society than shopping from an offline store.Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is good, each paragraph includes an idea with supporting details. However, it could be better to have clear connections between each paragraph, which is not highly clear in your essay. Also, try to avoid repetition of ideas for the better use of the paragraphs and to attain a more coherent structure.
introduction conclusion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear and to the point, there is a scope of improvement in providing more in-depth analysis and a robust ending. The conclusion should ideally give a complete idea about your essay's primary focus, which seems to be somewhat lacking in your conclusion.
task achievement
Your arguments are mostly well-supported with relevant examples. Consistency and more variety in your examples will help you climb up the scoring ladder.