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Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
In recent years, saving money for an unpredictable
future
 has become increasingly crucial, particularly for young people. I firmly believe that adopting a cautious approach is essential for everyone. On the one hand, proponents, including myself, argue that various unforeseen situations can arise. Most people are naturally concerned about their
future
, leading them to plan and prepare as best as they can. Nowadays, individuals often learn from the experiences of others, applying these lessons to their own financial decisions.
Consequently
, people are more inclined to manage their spending carefully to ensure they can handle both present and
future
 needs effectively.
For instance
, parents frequently save money for their children's expenses,
such
 as healthcare and education, to provide them with a secure and well-rounded upbringing.
Moreover
, the
future
 is inherently unpredictable, making it wise to have funds set aside for unexpected desires and challenges. In today's busy world, being able to offer financial support or comfort to others can be immensely valuable.
Conversely
, some argue that since life is uncertain and short, individuals, especially the young, should focus on living in the moment, travelling, and enjoying life. Documentaries on travel often feature affluent older individuals who emphasize the importance of enjoying youth to the fullest, suggesting that
such
 experiences are more valuable when one is young. In conclusion,
while
 it is important to live in the present, I strongly recommend saving a portion of one’s money for
future
 uncertainties.
This
 approach ensures preparedness for unexpected challenges, as discussed in
this
 essay.
Submitted by saharaqajani on

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clarity
While your essay presents a coherent main point, ensuring each paragraph clearly supports this central argument would further enhance clarity. Try to elaborate on each point a bit more, giving a clearer picture of how each example ties back to your main argument.
expansion
While discussing the counter-argument, you could expand on why some people believe in living for the moment. Providing specific examples or studies could strengthen your argument.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed and clear, giving a solid framework to your essay.
content
The essay effectively balances different viewpoints, adding depth to your argumentation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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