The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #information #features #comparisons

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The pie graph displays the proportion of

males

Use synonyms

and

females

Use synonyms

from 1989 to 1994

while

Linking Words

the bar chart depicts the reasons for

arrest

Fix the agreement mistake

arrests

show examples

which occurred in recent times.

Overall

Linking Words

,it is evident from the chart that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of the

men

Use synonyms

and women were arrested for public drinking and

at the end

Linking Words

of the period,there was

Change the article

show examples

higher percentage of

males

Use synonyms

that were arrested.

To begin

Linking Words

with,For

men

Use synonyms

,Public drinking topped the chart at about 37%,about 8% higher than that of the

females

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

,Breach of order was at 18% for

males

Use synonyms

and 12% for

females

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

,more

females

Use synonyms

were arrested for assault when compared to

men

Use synonyms

In Contrast

Linking Words

Change the article

show examples

higher proportion of

men

Use synonyms

were arrested for theft.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,The figure for

Replace the word

drunk

show examples

drink

Wrong verb form

drunk

show examples

driving for

men

Use synonyms

stood at 26% and almost doubled that of the

females

Use synonyms

.But,Those who gave other reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

both genders were not up to 20%.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people who gave no reason were just a minority of 4% in

males

Use synonyms

and 7% in

females

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

,By 1994,Just a minority of the total in both

males

Use synonyms

and

females

Use synonyms

were arrested and

Change the article

show examples

higher percentage of

males

Use synonyms

and

females

Use synonyms

were not arrested at 32% and 9% respectively.

Submitted by bumzyakins on Sun Oct 29 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

185 words

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The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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