The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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People
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´s average
health
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overall
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will probably decrease within the next coming years.
This
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essay aims to disagree with
this
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statement,
due to
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the fact that several
people
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suffer from silent
diseases
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, which augments the importance of getting screened for them by their close friends and relatives. In tandem with highly-skilled professionals on social
media
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promoting
self-care
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and screening for
this
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diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
proves it. Nowadays more and more
people
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become conscious of silent
diseases
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,
such
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as arterial hypertension and hyperlipidemia because someone close to them is suffering from the disease or its sequels. Close relatives and friends of
people
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suffering become more aware of
this
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and want to be tested for them.
For example
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, more patients attend medical consults even though they are feeling generally good, because they wish to either have their arterial pressure taken or get bloodwork done in order to check for hyperlipidemia or any other silent disease and when asked why, they respond that it´s
due to
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the fact that a close friend of them suffers from
this
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disease.
In addition
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, the impact that social
media
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has had on
people
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becoming self-aware of their physical and mental
health
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is huge. Not all social
media
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accounts are a good source for
overall
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health
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but there are quite a good amount of them which have science-based information and promote
self-care
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along with
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screening tests. The YouTube account known as Dr. Mike is a great example of a
health
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-promoting social
media
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account which is science-based. Dr Mike bases all his videos (which are science or
health
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-related) on
self-care
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and screening for silent
diseases
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which once prevented, could make a difference. In conclusion, the average standard of
people
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´s
health
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won´t decrease in the upcoming years.
This
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is thanks to the
overall
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awareness of
people
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knowing someone who suffers from silent
diseases
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and the work of highly skilled professionals in social
media
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accounts promoting
self-care
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.
Submitted by f.leyton.a on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be further developed to provide a clearer roadmap for the essay. Consider explicitly stating your position in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Great job providing relevant examples and supporting your ideas. Make sure to maintain a clear and focused argument throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Excellent use of vocabulary related to health and disease. Continue to vary your word choice and use more complex and precise vocabulary to further enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammar is strong and you effectively convey your ideas. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure proper punctuation to enhance clarity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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